I get it you are very sorry! OR, let's take ourselves. What about the time when we ended up hurting a person? And, then we will say to other people we are so sorry. Then are we willing to repent?
Yeah, The words "I'm sorry" can be nice to hear. Don't get me wrong. However, those are just words. Will we all have a repentant attitude to back those words up?
Let's 1st define repent/repentant.
Merriam Webster says this -feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one's wrongdoing or sin.
Now, let me ask ourselves again. We all know we are very sorry. Are we all so sorry enough to repent?
I think that's really the only thing the hurt person cares amount. Am I right? I mean and guess it totally depends on the love language. Yeah, it's nice to hear I'm sorry sometimes come and sometimes a means nothing to a person.
For example me and my husband. His primary love language is acts of service. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. That means He would rather see with his own eyes The change in something. He would rather me shorten the apology to just, sorry, or not even say it at all. To reiterate, he just wants to see change. He's not really into the words part.
Now, my secondary love language is words of affirmation. So, Welcome with open arms his wordy apology. "Yes, babe. Please do tell me why exactly you are sorry." I want to hear what he did so then I know he knows what he did. See, that is loving to me.
I think most of the time, well this happens with me and my husband. We go towards our apologies to one another using our own love language.
And, that doesn't usually go too well. Like a camera when I would apologize for insight that I can see his face of disinterest. Or, he may end up saying strain out I don't care more ear words peer and I just want to see the action! Or, He will end up saying sorry. That would be it. Then, of course, I would have to see something like what are you sorry for? Do you even know why you are sorry?
As I said before, please don't apologize for using your own love language. Apologize using your spouse's love languages.
Also, I do want to add that somewhere in your apology, say something to that effect. You will try super hard not to repeat your mistakes. Your spouse should know that you are not perfect. However, just hearing that you are willing to try to change? That means a lot!
Looks toward the East in the context of an apology it means that an individual realizes that he is or her present behavior is destructive the person regrets the pain here she is causing the other person and he chooses to changes behavior repentance is more than saying I'm sorry I was wrong how can I make this up to you it is saying as the newspaper did I'll try not to do this again for some people in his repentance that convinces them that the apology is sincere the offending persons repentance then elicits the offended person's forgiveness without genuine repentance the other languages of apology may fall on deaf ears what people have been hurt wanna know is you intend to change or will this happen again next week in our research we asked the question what you expect an apology repeatedly we heard statements like the following show that you are willing to change and do it differently next time I expected to find ways to stop it from happening again I want them to have a plan for improvement a plan to succeed and not to fail I expect him not to go into a rage a few minutes later or do the same thing again these and scores of similar statements revealed that for many people repentance is at the heart of a true apology it begins in the heart how then do we speak the language of repentance it begins with an expression of intent to change all true repentance begins in the heart we recognize that what we have done is wrong that our actions have hurt the one we love we don't want a continued as the 80 or so we decide that with God's help we will change then we verbalize this decision to the person we have offended it is the decision to change that indicates that were no longer making excuses were not minimizing our behavior but are accepting full responsibility for our actions when we share our intention to change with the person we've offended we are communicating to them what is going on inside of us they get a glimpse of our heart at less often is the language that convinces them we mean what we say Abby is 36 and thinks her husband Jeff is a good apologize or what makes you think is apologies are sincere I asked well hes very honest she replied and what I really like is that he tells me he'll try not to let it happen again to me this is really important I don't want to just hear words I wanna see changes when he indicates that he intends to change always willing to forgive him Jim fortyish said I expect the person to come to me and sit down face-to-face not over the phone and tell me that they were wrong and told me that they're going to make changes so that it won't happen again I want them to be realistic and tell me that they know they have to work on it so I should be patient with them so may resist the idea of verbally expressing an intention to change for fear that someone will not actually change what that simply make things worse 1 man asked me it is true that changing behavior takes time and in the process we may have additional failures will talk about that later in the chapter but these failures need not keep us from ultimately making genuine and positive changes the bigger question is what if you fail the verbalized her intention to change your philosophy may be just make the changes don't talk about them a problem with that approach is that the offended person cannot read your mind here she doesn't know that in your heart you decided to make changes it may take weeks or months for them to observe the difference in you but even then they may not know what motivated the transformation 1 apologizing it is far better to state your intention to change then the person knows that you truly recognize that your behavior is wrong and that he fully intended change that behavior it's perfectly fine to tell them that you hope they will be patient with you because you know he will not be 100% successful immediately but that it is your intention to change this destructive behavior now they know your intention and sense that your apology is sincere so they can now forgive you do before the changes are actually made our apologize but I won't change
Off we hit home runs stories abound a famous actors and authors who toiled in obscurity for years rejected by publishers and overlook for movie roles before they found fame the tragedy is that people often give up their next door to success all behavior patterns die slowly but we will be successful if we person dear prayerful and committed the change and seek is a port of trusted others to help us through that change inviting the offended person to help you come up with a plan for change to effectively show repentance you write see something like these statements statements of genuine repentance I know that my behavior was very painful to you ever want to do that again I'm open to any ideas you have I might change my behavior how could I say that in a different way that would not come across as critical I know that what I'm doing is not helpful what would you like to see me change that would make this better for you I really do want to change I know I'm not gonna be perfect but I really want to try to change this behavior would you be willing to remind me if I revert to my old patterns just say relapse I think that will help me to stop and change my direction I let you down by making the same mistake again what would it take for you to begin to rebuild your trust in me this is such a long term battered for me while I want to change I know all be hard I may fail hurting you again along the way would really appreciate it if you would help me think about a way to help my changes stick and encourage me when you see me doing things that h*** can a common way to be my teammate in this talk about it main some of the differences you've noticed between men and women when they apologize where do you think these differences come from this chapter defines repentance as to turn around or to change one's mind in what other ways and you heard repentance define what do you think of the idea that repentance include the concept of I'll try not to do that again don't talk about a time when you wanted your spouse sees me as family members and close to you cannot just apologize but change their behavior what happened chapters does
Scene 5
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