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it was not really a surprise to us when it came to the difference in our love languages.
And, apparently now that we know our apology languages, we as a couple seem to differ in that aspect as well.
The 1st Apology language is expressing regret!
As Chapman and Thomas explain in their book, "sometimes just expressing regret is not good enough." How does it usually go? One person hurts the person either physically or mentally. So, that person apologizes and says straight out, " I am sorry."
That should be good enough right? That should definitely make it apparent that the person knows that they hurt the
person. Because why would they even apologize if they didn't know they hurt the hurt person? So, we think ( cool, the words, "I'm sorry") is good enough for me. Is that right?
Let's take a look at Exhibit A. Fight between me and my husband. Maybe you guys remember? Maybe you don't? And, that is that one of my love languages is :Words of Affirmation.
Let me explain how that whole thing piggy backs to when it comes to the way I prefer an apology. How that love language if used makes their apology seem most sincere.
The offended person got really hurt. And, they are upset. They want to know that the person who hurt them really understands their pain and anger.
Yes, some ( person that hurt the other) may find that to be very tedious. However, we need to remember that there are also some people ( person that got hurt) who find that to be loving, And, they find that to be their preferred way of receiving an apology.
Here's a tip. Perhaps if we choose to apologiz to people in their language? The easier and more likely it will be for the hurt person to forgive.
So, when Joe makes me mad or hurts me, he will say he's sorry. Then, I would probably be expecting more. I would want to know what he is sorry about. Give me details. In order for me to truly forgive I want to feel that the person who hurt me really regrets what they did.
Some people feel like this is the most essential part of an apologly. But, like I said before some people do think that saying the words, "I'm sorry " is enough to express their apology.
Perhaps, we should ask ourselves, " Do I really care about how I apologize to people? Even if tedious? That should not bother the offender one bit. The focus should be on apologizing by way of the person you offended's apology language.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you
Brenda Lee: I'm Sorry
Wife and CW
Scene 4
TBC...............
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