Stop The Crazy

As a wife, there are definitely times I annoy my husband, tick him off, and really just show him lack of respect.  I was really curious and really racking my brain trying to figure out how to escape that crazy cycle fight, I mentioned in an earlier deep thought. So, I had asked a more mature Christian, my pastor to share his thoughts.  I hope what I got from him helps you as much as it helps me and my husband when the crazy cycle happens.

First of all, let me give a definition of the crazy cycle. Actually, let me just give an example of a crazy cycle and let you make your own definition of what it is. I will use my husband and I for the example. Sam does something to Joe that makes him feel disrespected and so Joe is so angry that he begins to swear. Sam is hurt by Joe swearing at her so she begins to cry. Joe hates it when Sam cries and continues to swear. Sam hates it when Joe swears and continues to cry. You guys see where I'm going with this? It's a crazy cycle! Sooner or later down the road either one of the parties will forget about the fight or something worse may happen.  What Sam should have done in the first place when Joe told her he felt disrespected was to apologize. Or, was Joe supposed to be the first to apologize for swearing That is the crazy cycle.  And I wish I could say that there are ways to prevent that cycle from ever happening, but I can't. But, what I can do is give my thoughts of how to stop the crazy cycle while it's happening.

To reiterate, most likely similar to you I really had no idea who was to be the first to try to end the crazy cycle by being the first to apologize. I thought the husband because he is the authority.  Joe thought whoever began the fight. Turns out both of us were incorrect.  You know who ends the crazy cycle? Whoever's heart the Holy Spirit tugs at first. Yup, when I thought about that, it made perfect sense to me. Because, in the past when Joe and I would get in fights, there was never the same person that apologized first.  I never really noticed that before, but I guess it really was whoever's heart the Holy Spirit spoke to first. I'm definitely not saying that once apologies happen, the forgiveness is immediate.  Cause that would be a lie. However, I guess that's what marriage is really about apologizing and forgiving. Also, finding out your spouses love language helps tremendously too! Because, if  your spouse's love language will not be in your vocabulary or vice versa, then you are inviting the crazy cycle to commence. My advice is to learn all you can about your spouse's love language and all you can do and even avoid to stop the crazy!


Ezekiel 11:19
And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.